Tuesday, May 13

From the Heart of a Pastor's Wife

About a month ago, I was listening to Sabrina talk about various characteristics of a pastor's wife, I had to look over at my husband and just give him that smile that says it all. Some of her points made me laugh while others brought tears to my eyes and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep those tears from falling. It is interesting to note what various people expect from a pastor's wife. Let's get to the heart of the matter: a pastor's wife must remain true to her identity. I like what one pastor's wife said, "Authenticity makes a great pastor's wife... You don't want someone who is aiming to force herself into a role, because its what others expect of her. You want a woman who is real, who is true to herself, true to the way that God designed her, and lives with a fierce love for God and her husband, and a fierce resistance to stereotypes." I wish I knew her name, but she goes on to state, "we [pastor's wives] just need the freedom to be ourselves, the freedom to say no to certain things, the freedom to find our niche in life and not let our entire life be defined by our husband's calling. After all, God calls us too, and sometimes it's to pursuits dramatically different than ministry. ("HopeRising -> RE: Pastors Wife (2/29/2008 1:14:59 AM))

In my short experience as a pastor's wife, I have learned that I cannot be what people expect because peoples' expectations can sometimes be unrealistically too high. Perhaps the greatest lesson I have come to understand is that I can simply be myself. I love to laugh, but there is a side to me that hurts too. I have days when everything is, if you please, picture perfect. There are times when I feel as if I have missed the mark, but I always readjust my aim and go forward. I do not stay in the valley of disappointment or loneliness but rather I choose to experience the great thrills of life; I choose to be happy. I strive to focus on the positive rather than the negative. When the nagging voice of fear tries to reign, I simply, say, "Lord, I trust you." I have learned that everyone will have a different opinion of me and that is okay, but I cannot allow their opinions to define who I am. I am after all, a lady with real emotions. I am a mom, a wife, a pastor's wife, a sister and a friend. I am my husband's faithful supporter. Thank you Lord, for choosing me, and thank you for your gentle hand that leads me.

6 comments:

Sis. Sabrina said...

You are a wonderful Pastor's wife we are blessed to have you as our Pastor's wife, Let me go a step further and say I'm glad you are my Pastor's wife.
You are a friend and a great person
Sabrina

Debbie Pryor said...

Sabrina, you always have just the right words to say and am glad that you are my friend. I am sooo thankful that God called us to this church. Love you!

Rochelle said...

I can relate on the level of growing up in a pastor's home and being a minister's wife. Although I know that comes up short to what it must be life to personally live it. Thank you for everything you do - the seen and unseen. You are an asset to the Kingdom and an inspiration to me.

Jana Allard said...

Debbie, you are a great pastor's wife and an awesome role model to your ladies. This has come about through your dedicated prayer life and beautiful spirit.

Debbie Pryor said...

Rochelle, I wish you lived closer so then we can sit at Starbucks and just chat. You are too sweet and I appreciate your comment.

Debbie Pryor said...

Jana, thank you for always being there for me. I strive to be the best I can possibly be, but I am thankful for a role model like you. Regardless of life's circumstance, you are always smiling and you have a unique way of ALWAYS seeing the good in every situation. We are planning on coming your way soon. Starbucks and Scrabble is calling our name. :)